i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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