I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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