He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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