Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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