we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize