i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
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It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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