why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize