I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize