Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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