I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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