I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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