well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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