Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize