Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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