Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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