Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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