I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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