apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize