If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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