I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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