Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize