i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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