i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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