ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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