you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize