sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He has the fingertips of a God
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize