I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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