just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize