How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize