i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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