great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
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My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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