I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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