I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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