I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize