He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize