just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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