I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize