walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
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she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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