So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
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No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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