I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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