you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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