yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The power of my boobs compel you
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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