what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize