He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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