just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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