apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize