Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize