Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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