Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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