I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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